Jan
Why I keep updating this blog on chronic pain?
I keep updating this blog since several months. Week after week I share with you all what I experience, all hope and all knowledge. There are days when I feel weak and I ask myself, ‘why do I do this?’
Well, at first I will remind you few things why I feel pain every single day. I have relapsing polychrondritis, which is a disease of inflammation and destruction of cartilage throughout my body. As it is really difficult to diagnose, for many years I was walking with ‘lupus like syndrome’ label. What’s more, I also suffer from mixed connective tissue disease that kind of encompasses many of my problems. I have felt pain in my sacroiliac joints for many years, pain in hips and knees as well as pain after destruction of my ankles. I have arthritis in several joints however tests are not positive for RA. I’ve irregular rhythm and rapid heart rate, known as tachycardia. I am extremely photosensitive, and was, even when I was not taking the meds that caused or altered the problem. Problems with the sun light came to me in the same time when pain. It also looks that my heat tolerance just disappear, and miserable rash comes into place where I was exposed to sunlight.
Here in Oregon photosensitivity is not a big problem, but when we were living in the central valley of California it made itself a nightmare. These days I had a beautiful Mustang convertible and we had a ski boat, anyway if someone was there then he or she knows how hot and sunny it is.
Before all that came up on me I was an RN manager and I loved whole thing of nursing. My husband is a nurse, my son is nurse and a daughter who is speech pathologist. I have to admit that conversations at our household were rather gross sometimes, when the kids were still living with us.
So you may ask where is the answer about why do I write this blog? I’m sure that answer is somehow connected with me itself as I want to share what I am experiencing and this somehow gives me strength to live and to fight it. I’m just that type of person who prefers to look for the positive aspects of even hardest and worst situation. Many years ago I decided that I cannot let this disease destroy my life as it will be end of it. I think I am too stubborn to just lay and accept what comes. I don’t get money for writing this blog, I do it because I want to. It is a little different as in the past I was paid for my writing and some of these writings were even published in newspapers, magazines, newsletters and college literary magazines. I started writing poetry and prose to express portion of emotions that are boiling in me. My life hit the brick wall and now my job is to deal with the consequences – and that’s why this blog is really part of me.
For me, the life changed its rules. I was always very ambitious, I chose to go to nursing school in my thirties and wanted to help others, earn good money and make a career I was enjoying. How’s now? Well now it is no longer about winning. Now it is about showing up and I’m happy of myself each time I do it right. I know it needs full buckets of courage to awake each morning and choose to get up even if you know that whole day will be covered with pain. Of course it isn’t the same pain every day. I just needed a place to share my days with other who suffer from chronic pain. Doing so I met a lot of great people: Kathryn, Lynlee, Barbara, Sandie, Theresa, Toni, Susan, KB and numbers of others to mention. My editor, Natalie, is a jewel. Those guys share with me as I share with them. We are talking about being in the fire of life and living to tell about it. In some way we depend on each other. We just like that connect to anyone across the huge distances as we are on the same lifeboat of life. We know how it is to be at the bottom as we were there and back up. Right, nobody is perfect, we are altered, compromised and in pain, but we still have our hearts, love and strength. Living with chronic pain can be very lonely and each one of us needs someone to share, who understand.
That entire people I am connected with are like diamonds for me. Each one gave me something, experience, good word when needed, or smiles. I am rich just by knowing you guys. I hope that my sharing gives you something too.
Chronic pain opiate narcotics are effective but very dangerous, should be taken in moderation and prescribed by a physician, medications such as Darvocet, hydrocodone, Lortab, Vicodin, Norco, Percocet, OxyContin, are even more commercial and very useful for people with diseases like fibromyalgia, chronic pain, Parkinson’s, arthritis, arthrosis, should be restricted and controlled, as in findrxonline said the FDA does not allow them the freedom to market.