8
Mar

The importance of love in the battle with chronic pain

Posted by admin 8 March, 2010

No guys, it is not going to be about sex. Sure, another time, no problem. But today I would like to focus on the other aspect of love.
There are so many songs which say: “All we need is love”. Indeed, love has a therapeutic quality.  But what love we are talking about- the one we give or the one we receive? What is better- to love or to be loved? Get ready guys, cause we are going to delve into this issue now.

I was really surprised by the huge response this blog received when I wrote about the important role our pets play in our lives. I started to think about it. Let’s say I got a little bit deeper into this issue. I asked myself- what’s going on? What’ this all about? Is it about the unconditional love we get from our pets or is it about the responsible love we give to them? I realized that we, people simply love to be in love. And the retail world makes a great business on this if we think of all the “love” holidays, such as Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day and Father’s Day.
But coming back to the therapeutic quality of love- how is it in reality? If we look at the statistics, it turns out that married men live longer than single men. The comfort of a long-standing relationship is nurturing, and this is especially important for people living with chronic pain and disease. The feeling that there is someone we can count on and whom we can trust reduces the stress involved in dealing with chronic condition to a great extent.
A cover story in TIME magazine, February 23,  says that people who are sick and believe in a loving God deal much better with their lives than those who think their sickness is a kind of punishment for what they have done in the past.
Whatever love we are thinking of, the love of God, lovers or pets, we can’t deny it plays fundamental role in our lives.
And now coming back to our question- what is better- to give love or to receive love…
When do we start learning to love? In the moments we need love the most- when we are small children. Whatever children get, they will give it later. So if they get love, they will give love. We learn love by being loved. If we don’t experience love in early life, it will leave us with an empty space that will be difficult to fill in the future. When I think about the studies of orphanages throughout central Europe and Russia where infants were piled into cribs and left without human touch or affection, everything becomes clear- these children withered or died, and the reason was obvious- lack of love. Love is the factor of survival.  We are born to experience love. If we don’t get it, how can we give it to others? How can we give something we don’t have?
So what if some don’t get love in their early life but they survive? Is there a chance for them to learn what is love? Is there a universal source of love that everybody can find? I guess, the Holy Bible gives us the answer: “God is love”. This verse is so short, yet so meaningful. I used to wonder what exactly it means. “God loves you” sounds clear, but “God is love”? Well, I don’t know what it means to others but I understand it in a way that love is the nature of God, it is the fundament of his existence. And since God’s love is unlimited It’s definitely enough for all of us. Let’s take it, let’s learn it and let’s start giving it. It’s for free. And we can give it freely. It’s the best business we can imagine- the exchange of love.
You know, my favorite statement of love is included in the Living New Testament. Let me quote it: “There are three things that remain- faith, hope and love- and the greatest of these is love.” As far as I understand it- love is the basics of everything else. Faith is based on love and hope is based on love. If we find love in our lives, whether we will give it or receive it, we will find all the other missing parts necessary to be successful in the challenges we are facing.

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